I’m tired and weary
I feel like I’m fighting old battles
These are done right? 
I thought we moved past this
I’m still fighting these?!
I can’t do this anymore!
I can’t bear this weight any longer

Am I being punished for my righteousness?
I am innocent of these crimes
I am no longer the criminal I was
Still I have to suffer consequences
Old crimes. Old charges. New warrant. 
This time I did nothing but get blamed
Fear had a grip on me then I saw light
I saw and felt overwhelming peace
I was relieved. I am alive. I rejoiced. 

Now the consequences are settling 
Now the suffering begins
Would it have been better had I died?
Surely not! God, you saved me. 
You are in control. Surely there is reason. 
Surely you have a purpose for me here
You are my strong tower
I will cling to you for rest and peace
When all around me my world is falling apart,
I will hide myself away in you

Restore my soul, O God. 
I will trust in you. 
Though the world holds a grudge
You are forgiving. You are just. 
Your justice calls for consequences. 
I will suffer for righteousness
Am I also called to suffer for sin? 
Didn’t you pay that price for me?
You have forgiven. The world has not. 
Justice over grace is the way here
Twisted justice many times
You know the way of justice AND grace
I long for the day of the Lord. 

Help my unbelief. 
Remind me to trust you. 
Teach my heart to hear your voice alone.
I know that my heart is in you. 
You are my comfort
You are my salvation
You are my strength 
You are my home
You are my strong tower
You are my hope
You are my peace

You have made a way for me. 

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